Looking back, my children will remember taking care of a sick mother. But that’s okay. I’m here to tell you that it didn’t kill them. It didn’t cause long-term lasting damage. Instead, I think it shaped their lives in a positive way.
They learned empathy. They knew I was in a lot of pain. So they carried the groceries into the house.
Actually, they did the shopping too. That’s because I could barely walk. So I handed them some cash, gave them a shopping list and dropped them off outside the grocery store.
I waited inside the SUV. They were young. But they were old enough to know how to stay safe around strangers. They also learned how to navigate a grocery store and how to count change. In addition, they learned how to cook.
Fibromyalgia and Motherhood – How to Cope
Learning to cook was a necessity. I was too weak, and in too much pain, to stand long enough to prepare a meal. My oldest was 12. So she took over kitchen duties.
Now, as a young adult, she’s a fantastic cook. She can cook virtually anything. She is also a genius at ingredient substitutions and special diets. I can’t help but think this early foray into the kitchen is part of the reason she has a flare for cooking.
See, it didn’t kill her to learn to cook at a young age. In fact, she seemed to enjoy making incredible meals. At the time, I was so so sick that I’d simply say, “Honey, what’s for dinner tonight?” Then she’d tell me what she decided to make.
Having such responsibility at a relatively young age was character building. I comforted myself with the fact that in a different day and age, if a family lost a mother, the oldest girl would take over. I was still here. At least I was still around. So she didn’t have the full burden of caring for a family.
Being a Mom With Fibromyalgia
I had widespread body pain. The worse was centered in my lower back. If I walked too far (like across the room) painful muscle spasms set in.
Nights were terrible. The pain often kept me awake. There was no getting comfortable in bed. My muscle spasms were so bad that I had trouble turning over in bed. Getting out of bed was a struggle too.
My pain hit when my youngest was eight. I will never forget how helpless I felt. It seemed as if my life was spinning out of control. There were days in which it didn’t seem as if our family would make it. It seemed as if life was falling apart.
I’m so thankful for my husband. He stood by me, in sickness and in health. He also did the laundry, and a lot of the housework.
Parenting With Fibromyalgia
Much of my day was spent on the couch. My house was a mess. (Even though my husband did some of the housework, a full time job, plus a commute, precluded him from doing everything.) I couldn’t cook meals. Standing at the kitchen counter for more than a few minutes wore me out.
My husband would come home from work and start picking up the mess. He’d throw in a load of laundry. Or he’d move the laundry from the washing machine, that he did before leaving for work, into the dryer.
One of the most difficult aspects of dealing with my illness was that I was homeschooling my children. Or at least I was trying to do that. Being so sick made it difficult for me to take them on field trips. This is something I’m sad about, even today. They needed to get out more.
Fortunately, eventually put my children back in school. In the long run, this was the best thing I could have done. I wasn’t equipped to teach my children at home during high school. I’m glad I didn’t try.
Growing Up With a Chronically Ill Parent
I’ll admit it. There were times I felt guilty being so sick. I worried my kids were missing out on things. They probably were. But I don’t believe it hurt them in the long run.
My children both graduated from college, which they attended with merit scholarships. They’ve turned out to be kind and caring. Did my illness help shape them?
I like to believe that it did. And I hope my story can encourage and uplift all those other women out there, struggling to raise a family while dealing with chronic pain. It can be done. Your children probably won’t suffer. It might even help them. There’s no need to feel guilty. Your illness will not harm your children. It may even help make them become better people.
Managing Pain With Natural Remedies
Raising children while being in excruciating pain was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. Actually, I was so sick that I felt I had to make some drastic lifestyle changes. My intense pain developed rather suddenly. It also seemed to progress rapidly.
At the time, I knew a lot about natural medicine. However, I wasn’t putting this knowledge into practice. Far from it. I ate a lot of junk food and my stress level was over the top. Today, I’m feeling a lot better and can walk again without pain. It wasn’t one thing that made a difference. Instead, it was many things I did. They all seemed to add up.
People often ask me what I did to get better. But there’s no easy answer. I did sooooo many things, over the course of years. It was a lot of trial and error. So I decided to compile this information into an easy-to-follow online course. It’s not designed as medical advice. Instead, it’s a collection of information on the natural remedies and natural healing methods now available. And it’s designed to encourage you to find what works best for you. We’re all different and we’re all unique. Click on the image below for more information.
