This is a hard article to write. It’s may not make me any friends. People may get angry at me.
But I have to tell the truth.
Battling chronic pain is exhausting and frustrating. Most days, you don’t know how you’re going to cope.
Family and friends don’t understand. Sometimes they tell you that you “don’t look sick.”
They don’t get how you can look perfectly healthy and feel so miserable.
Doctor visits try your patience. Your practitioner may not believe you hurt. Or, he or she may tell you it’s all in your head. Oftentimes, you’re given drugs. They cause side effects.
The truth of the matter is that the mainstream medical profession doesn’t have great treatments, or a great understanding of fibromyalgia. Some doctors may not even believe it’s real. All of this can lead to patients become extremely angry at their healthcare providers.
Some of the anger toward doctors is warranted. But some of it isn’t. I’ve read posts in which people were outraged that their doctor suggested simple lifestyle changes. Such as getting more exercise and going on an anti-inflammatory diet.
This is where I see the anger as self defeating. Natural medicine has helped me so much. A doctor may have had other patients who’ve experienced similar improvements. Getting angry, instead of trying to get well, is so counterproductive.
Fibromyalgia and Being Angry
The life you once had has slipped away. So you’re angry. I get it.
But I need to tell you that unresolved anger isn’t doing you any favors. In fact, it might even be making you sicker.
I’ve come across fibro patients who are so angry that the mere suggestion that something natural might help seems to set them off. Sometimes I’m afraid to tell people that I’ve had a good response to holistic medicine. Maybe they will too. A lot of people don’t want to hear it. They get angry at the very thought of getting well again.
Fibromyalgia and Anger Issues
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There’s evidence that anger can increase fibromyalgia pain, and this is bad news. Because those of us with chronic pain suffer enough.
The mainstream medical site WebMD reported the results of a Dutch study. It showed that anger increases pain in both people with fibromyalgia, as well as in those without it. Sadness did much the same.
The researchers also found that people battling fibromyalgia suffered from a higher rate of negative emotions, compared to the control group.
The study seems to indicate that fibromyalgia, coupled with unresolved anger, is a toxic combination. Also there’s growing believe that fibro symptoms are related to earlier trauma. This can also leave people angry.
So what do you do about it? How do you stop being angry?
Fibromyalgia and Negative Emotions
I’m not a doctor or a mental health professional. So I can’t give medical advice. If you can’t get a handle on your anger, it might be a good idea to consult with a therapist. That’s because there’s proof that it can harm your health.
However, I can share my own story of living with chronic pain. At one time it was so bad that I could barely walk. Getting across a room was a struggle. Now I can walk for miles, with little pain. (I’m a huge fan of natural medicine, which is what I used to get healthy again.)
I also had to get my anger under control. Someone had done something terrible. I reeled from the betrayal and deceit. How could someone who seemed so good turn out to be so rotten? Malignant narcissism was the answer. My challenge was forgiving this person, without an apology. Because she suffered from an anti-social personality disorder, I couldn’t expect a sincere apology.
So I had to forgive her without one. That was one of the best things I ever did. For myself, not for her. If you honestly don’t believe you’re capable of forgiving someone, you may want to read my book, How To Forgive a Malicious Person.
Forgiveness is the best thing I ever did. It is possible to forgive a malicious person. Without a sincere apology. I had to do it. I know you can too.
Fibromyalgia and Dealing With Your Anger
Anyway, I’m not a therapist. I can’t give professional psychological advice. But I can share my own experience.
Forgiving someone who hurt me was the first step forward. I had to do this for myself, not necessarily for her. Forgiveness is what set me free from the anger, shock, hurt and sense of betrayal.
Then I had to think about my condition. How I could recover. I knew a lot about natural health, so I knew what to do. (Knowing a lot about natural medicine didn’t spare me from getting sick. That’s because I wasn’t putting this knowledge into practice.)
Getting better required a multi-prong effort of different healing methods. Plus I used certain herbs, supplements and essential oils. It took years and it took a lot of wrong turns. Eventually, though, my zig-zag path led to healing.
Oftentimes, people ask me exactly what I did to regain my health. But I did so many things I can’t possibly answer in a sentence or two. Or even a few paragraphs. The sum total of what I did is now included in an easy-to-follow online course. It’s designed to be used while working with your regular doctor, so you can hopefully save money on natural healthcare bills. You can learn more about my course by clicking on the image below.
Fibromyalgia and Emotional Outbursts
Sometimes while visiting an online Facebook forum, I notice a lot of angry, negative posts. I totally get that people are frustrated. I understand that they’re fed up. But the anger isn’t helping.
It’s not helping them and it’s not helping others. This is a large and generally supportive Facebook group for people with fibromyalgia. I like being a member. I think there’s a lot of really good information. But there’s no getting around the fact that some of the posts and responses are negative and filled with anger.
I want to tell certain people just to cool it. To work on their anger. If they can get their emotions under control, there’s a much better chance of healing.
Much of the anger in this group seems focused on doctors and access to narcotics. My group is all about finding natural solutions to chronic pain. These don’t involve narcotics. In fact, everything is available over the country. So that removes one source of anger.
Actually, even though I love this particular Facebook group, the anger can get to be to much. So I decided to start my own private Facebook group where people can make posts that aren’t seen by people outside the group. So feel free to join my group if you’re looking for a positive and supportive community.
Fibromyalgia Emotional Symptoms
Negative emotions can make you sick. Doctors have realized this for some time. Recently, there’s been new research into the mind/body connection. But this link has been known for some time.
In fact, about 100 years ago, a British physician named Dr. Edward Bach, MD, realized that being angry and upset can make us sick. He believed that healing the mind was the key to better health.
Dr. Bach spent the bulk of his career working with homeopathic remedies. He created a group of gentle homeopathic remedies made from flowers. These are specifically designed to address emotional distress and zero in on particular emotions. Dr. Bach was convinced that healing the mind could then lead to physical healing.
He made a couple of remedies specifically for anger. Bach remedies are still being made today. If you can’t find them locally, they’re available online. Bach flower willow essence is believed to be good for anger in which it seems as if it’s impossible to forgive. Bach vervain essence is thought to be appropriate when the anger is coupled with a sense of injustice. It’s also possible to take these remedies together, and I think that’s a good idea.
Emotions can be swirling when someone has wronged you, but refuses to apologize. Still we need to forgive them. Because remaining angry will only hurt us in the long run.
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